Emotional Regulation Toolkit

Anxious — Racing thoughts, tight chest

• Breathe out longer than in — in for 4, out for 6.
• Name five things you can see, out loud or in your head.
• Press your feet into the floor and notice the ground.

Angry — Hot, tense, ready to snap

• Move it out: a brisk walk, the stairs, or push against a wall.
• Step away and say, “I need a minute. I’ll come back.”
• Squeeze a pillow or stress ball hard, then let go slowly.

Overwhelmed — Too much, all at once

• Cut input: headphones on, lights down, screens away.
• Find a quieter spot, even for five minutes.
• Choose just one tiny next step. The rest can wait.

Numb / shut down — Foggy, flat, far away

• Gentle senses: a warm drink, a soft blanket, a favorite scent.
• Wiggle fingers and toes, then a slow, easy stretch.
• Low-demand company: someone nearby, no talking needed.

Restless — Buzzy, fidgety, can’t settle

• Stim freely: rock, bounce a leg, use a fidget.
• Dance, jump or pace through one whole song.
• Give your hands a job: doodle, knead putty, sort something.

Sad — Heavy, teary, low

• Let it out: cry, write it down, or tell someone safe.
• Wrap up in something cozy or weighted.
• Reach for comfort: a pet, a favorite show, your special interest.

• 1. Name it. “I’m overwhelmed” is enough. A rough guess counts.
• 2. Pick one. Just one idea from the card. Give it five minutes.
• 3. Check in. A little better? Keep going. Not yet? Try another.

• Green — I’m OK: Steady enough to learn, plan and connect.
• Yellow — Getting wobbly: Early signs. The best time to act.
• Red — Overloaded: Meltdown or shutdown. Safety and rest first.

Regulation first, reasoning second.

When a nervous system is overloaded, the thinking, talking and problem-solving parts get harder to reach. Calm the body first. The conversation can wait until everyone is back in green.

Supporting someone else?

• Fewer words, softer voice, more space.
• Offer, don’t insist: “Want water or quiet?”
• Save the “why” talk for later, if at all.