When feelings don’t have names.

Brain Library · Alexithymia

Alexithymia (a-lex-ih-THY-mee-uh) means difficulty identifying and describing your own emotions.

Pairs with: Feelings Finder

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The guide, as designed. The same content is written out below.

When feelings don’t have names., page 1 of the handout as designed

See page 2

Common in autistic people, though not everyone
Your feelings are still there
The signal gets lost in translation

The signal path

From body to words to what you need

Step 1 · Body sensation

Tight chest, hot face, heavy limbs

Step 2 · Notice it

“Something is happening in me”

Step 3 · Name it

“I think this is worry”

Then · Your need

“I need a break and a check-in”

Where the signal can drop out:

it may go unnoticed, or be noticed but not find a word. (On the sheet, the gaps are marked between Step 1 and Step 2, and between Step 2 and Step 3.)

It can look like

1 “I’m fine.”

And meaning it, until later.

2 “I feel bad.”

But not sure which bad.

3 Body first.

Aches or tiredness show up before a feeling does.

4 Out of nowhere.

Big reactions after signals built up unnoticed.

Ways to build the bridge

Body check-ins

Scan head to toe: tight, warm, buzzy, heavy?

Feelings wheel

Point to a word instead of searching for one.

Rating scales

“How big, 1 to 5?” can be easier than “What?”

Notice patterns later

Looking back counts: “That call drained me.”

Art, music, movement

Let color, sound or motion say it for you.

Try SOLA’s Feelings Finder worksheet.

Find the words.

Take these slowly: on your own, in a session, or with someone you trust. There are no wrong answers, and “I don’t know yet” counts.

Where in my body do I tend to notice things first: stomach, chest, head, hands?
When I say “I’m fine,” what might be underneath that I haven’t found words for yet?
Think of a time a big reaction seemed to come from nowhere. Looking back, what had built up?
Which is easier for me: naming a feeling, rating its size, or showing it through art or movement?
How could the people around me help when I can’t yet say what I’m feeling?

Try this week

Do a 30-second body check-in once a day. Jot one word or a number from 1 to 5.

For reflection and practice, not diagnosis. Bring it to your next session if you’d like to talk it through.