SLA Leah Hunter, MAMFT Brain Library · Guide
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Spaciousness

ACT Skills · Spaciousness

Emotions, thoughts and reality are three different things. When they pile on top of each other, each one fuels the others fast. Spaciousness is the room you make between them, so you can look at each one on its own.

Pairs with: Feelings & Sensations Scale

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The guide, as designed. The same content is written out below.

Spaciousness, page 1 of the handout as designed
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Spaciousness, page 2
01

Without spaciousness

tangled

Three overlapping circles, Emotions, Thoughts and Reality & Action, with the middle reading: it all feels true and urgent.

A feeling becomes a fact. A thought becomes a plan. You act before you have looked.

02

With spaciousness

room to look

The same three circles, Emotions, Thoughts and Reality & Action, with space between each of them.

Each circle is still there. You can name it, check it and choose what to do with it.

Emotions

What is happening inside: feelings and body sensations.

Ask: What am I feeling, and how big is it?

"I notice anxiety, about a medium."

Thoughts

The stories, predictions and judgments your mind offers.

Ask: What is my mind telling me? Is it a fact or a story?

"I'm having the thought that I messed up."

Reality & Action

What a camera would see, and what is in your control.

Ask: What do I know for sure? What step fits my values?

"The facts are… One thing I can do is…"

04

One moment, two ways

Your boss messages: "Can we talk tomorrow?"

Tangled

panic → "I'm getting fired" → up all night writing a resignation

Each circle speeds up the next. It happens in seconds.

Spacious
  • Emotion: anxious, high. My chest is tight.
  • Thought: I'm having the thought that I'm in trouble.
  • Reality: A meeting request. No details yet.
  • Action: Ask what it's about, jot a few notes, then rest.
05

Why the circles tangle for ND brains

  • Emotions often arrive fast and big. Emotion regulation differences are common in ADHD and autism.
  • Rejection sensitivity can make a thought feel like a fact the moment it lands.
  • When feelings are hard to name, they blend into thoughts and urges.

This is a wiring difference, not a character flaw. Space can be practiced.

06

Spaciousness is not

  • Pushing feelings away or "just calming down"
  • Deciding your thoughts are wrong
  • Ignoring what is really happening

It is making room for all three, so none of them has to run the show.

07

Make Space Practice

Use this when the circles feel tangled. Go slowly, one circle at a time. Short answers are fine.

The momentWhat happened? Write only what a camera would see or hear.

How tangled? Circle one Pick one

Mark it before you start, then again at the end.
  • tangled
  • some space
  • spacious
08

Emotions

I notice I feel

How big Pick one

  • Low
  • Medium
  • High
I feel it in my body here

Can I let it be here for a moment? Pick one

  • yes
  • a little
  • not yet
09

Thoughts

I'm having the thought that

This is a Pick one

  • fact
  • story
  • not sure

Is this thought helpful right now? Pick one

  • yes
  • no
  • partly
10

Reality & Action

What I know for sure
What is in my control
One small step that fits my values
11

Reflect

Which circle do I usually get stuck in?
Which two circles blend the most for me?
What helps me make space?Breath, movement, writing, time, talking it out…
What do I want to remember next time the circles tangle?

If everything is at a high: make space in the body first. Slow your exhale, feel your feet, or step outside. The circles are easier to sort once your body settles.

Educational only, not mental health treatment.

Sources and credits. Pairs with the SOLA Feelings & Sensations Scale for naming emotions and their size.